CMHA National, Author at CMHA Kelowna

Negative emotions? Unpleasant feelings? Chances are you have them. And chances are they’ve intensified this past year, as we’ve struggled with the effects of the pandemic. If you’re like us, chances are you’ve tried to push them down or numb them out. The good news about “bad” emotions is that they really aren’t bad at all.

Unpleasant feelings are part of the vast, human emotional spectrum and having the full range of emotions is a sign of good mental health. Grief and sadness are healthy responses to loss. When anger is justifiable, it is a healthy response to mistreatment.

This past year we have been dealing with a significant amount of grief and loss, both as a society, and individually. We might be mourning our pre-pandemic lives. Or grieving for loved ones. Perhaps you’ve lost your job or your business. These experiences will create feelings that just aren’t easy.

But feeling all our feelings is simply part of being human, and there may be no such thing as “negative” feelings. In fact, the very feelings we associate with feeling bad are actually good for us. Here are some myths about negative feelings, and the corresponding facts.

Myth: It’s better to suppress – than express – your negative feelings.

Fact: Suppressing your feelings can backfire.

When it comes to emotional behaviours, research shows that recognizing when you’re upset or feeling down is more effective than pushing down those feelings. For instance, studies have shown that emotional cravings for food and alcohol increase when you try to suppress them.

When it comes to anger, if it’s bottled up, it can lead to an unhealthy anger response.

If it is turned inward, anger can lead to depression and other health problems.

ANGER

Myth: Anger will always lead to violence.

Fact: Anger has a very bad rap. It’s not surprising, really, as it is associated with violence and aggression. But feeling and even expressing anger do not have to lead to aggressive behaviour. It is very important to note, however, that when anger is turned outward as aggression, it is destructive and unacceptable.

Myth: Anger serves no constructive purpose.

Fact: Anger can actually be our friend when we’re not acting it out.

When it is justified and appropriate, anger can be constructive. It can help clarify and solve problems and correct misunderstandings in relationships. When people can express their anger calmly, they are more able to resolve conflict. Some researchers suggest that constructive anger can even promote heart health.

When we are threatened or attacked, anger can provide the strength we need to protect ourselves or stand our ground. Social movements fueled by anger can also be effective in overcoming injustice in society.

SADNESS

Myth: Sadness serves no purpose.

Fact: In many cultures, sadness is considered an “undesirable” or “problem” emotion that serves no purpose. In fact, sadness serves important functions. Sadness can trigger thinking and behaviour strategies that help us deal with demanding social situations. It is also a healthy way to process an experience of loss.

Myth: if you’re crying, you’re not coping.

Fact: This is just not true. Crying is an indication of strong feelings, to be sure, but tears are a natural way to work through grief, loss and sadness.

FEAR

Myth: Fear causes us to freeze in our tracks, which makes us open to danger.

Fact: In fact, fear makes human beings get out of harm’s way. Instinctively. We don’t even have to think about it. That’s because our species evolved fear as a way to respond quickly to dangerous situations – which is known as the “fight or flight” response. It allows us to make our escape, and it was essential to our survival. At the same time, being fearful puts us on high alert, bringing us back to the present moment, which can make us better able to deal with danger.

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What it boils down to it this: go ahead and feel what you feel. Even if it’s hard or uncomfortable. It may not always be pretty, but it can do you good.

Of course, if anger, sadness or fear are causing you distress, and these feelings last for a long time, are very intense and/or are interfering with your ability to function, they may indicate a problem. Please seek help from a healthcare provider. It is also important to reinforce that anger expressed inappropriately as threat or violence cannot be tolerated.

Sources
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/negative-emotions-key-well-being/
https://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/impact-fear-and-anxiety
https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/what-happens-brain-feel-fear-180966992/
https://www.apa.org/monitor/mar03/angrythoughts
https://doi.org/10.1111/1468-5914.00196
https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167207311281

This article was written for Mental Health Week and originally appeared on CMHA National’s Mental Health Week website.

It happens every time we say hello. In person, in text, on the phone. Someone asks us how we’re doing. It’s politeness. It’s a social convention. And it’s a way to find out how we’re all doing and connect with each other.

But, more often than not, do you find yourself answering, automatically, with “fine, thanks?” You are not alone. Most of us do. But maybe, just maybe, if we said more than just “I’m fine,” we would know ourselves better, would connect a little more, and have more meaningful connections.

In fact, when we slow down and figure out what we’re really feeling, it can actually help us feel better and can improve the way we communicate with and relate to others. Knowing and saying what we really feel can improve our relationships.

The English language has literally thousands of words for emotions. Here are just some of them. Try them on for size. When we name precisely how we feel, it’s good for our mental health.

“Comfortable” feelings

Excited Enthusiastic Delighted Amazed Passionate Aroused Alert Astonished Dazzled Energetic Awakened Eager Charged Exhilarated

Friendly Appreciative Delighted Pleased Amazed Affectionate Caring Loving Sympathetic Warm Doting Tender Attached Compassionate

Confident Bold Courageous Positive Fearless Optimistic Encouraged Powerful Proud Trusting Secure Brave Empowered

Ecstatic Thrilled Blissful Elated Enthralled Exuberant Radiant Rapturous Thrilled

Thankful Grateful Moved Touched Appreciative Recognized Indebtedness Included Understood Appreciated Accepted Acknowledged Recognized Welcomed Connected Supported Heard Respected Involved

Intrigued Absorbed Fascinated Interested Charmed Entertained Captivated Engaged Engrossed Curious Surprised

Joyful Cheerful Festive Lighthearted Upbeat Glad Merry Elated Delighted Jubilant Hopeful Tickled Pleased

Peaceful Calm Quiet Trusting Fulfilled Steady Collected Composed Comfortable Centered Content Relieved Mellow Level Restful Still At ease Satisfied Relaxed Clear Reassured Rested

Refreshed Stimulated Replenished Exhilarated Reinvigorated Revived Enlivened Restored Liberated Lively Passionate Vibrant

“Uncomfortable” feelings

Afraid Nervous Dread Frightened Cowardly Terrified Alarmed Panicked Suspicious Worried Apprehensive Agitated Bothered Uncomfortable Uneasy

Frenzied Irritable Disturbed Troubled Unsettled Unnerved Restless Upset

Angry Furious Livid Irate Resentful Hateful Hostile Aggressive Worked up Provoked Outraged Defensive

Anxious Shaky Distraught Edgy Fidgety Frazzled Irritable Jittery Overwhelmed Restless Preoccupied Flustered

Confused Lost Disoriented Puzzled Chaotic Uncertain Stuck Indecisive Foggy Dazed Baffled Flustered Perturbed Perplexed Hesitant Immobilized Ambivalent Torn Disconnected

Lonely Isolated Bored Distant Removed Detached Separate Broken Aloof Numb Withdrawn Rejected Out-of-place Indifferent Misunderstood Abandoned Alienated

Disgusted Appalled Horrified Disturbed Repugnant Contempt Spiteful Animosity Hostile Bitter

Embarrassed Awkward Self-conscious Silly Mortified Humiliated Flustered Chagrined

Ashamed Put down Guilty Disgraced Envy Jealous Competitive Covetous Resentful Longing Insecure Inadequate Yearning Helpless Paralyzed Weak Defenseless Powerless Invalid Abandoned Alone Incapable Useless Inferior Vulnerable Empty

Distressed In pain Remorseful Regretful Disappointed Guilty Grieving Miserable Anguish Bruised Crushed Sadness Heartbroken Disappointed

Hopeless Regretful Depressed Pessimistic Melancholy Sorrowful Heavy-hearted Low Gloomy Miserable Stress Overwhelmed Frazzled Uneasy Cranky Distraught Dissatisfied Weighed down Overworked Anxious Shocked Frustrated

Tired Bored Fatigued Exhausted Uninterested Worn out Fed up Drained Weary Burned out Lethargic Sleepy Depleted Vulnerable Insecure Exposed Unguarded Sensitive Unsafe Inferior Weak Judged Inadequate

Sources: https://nrc.canada.ca/en/research-development/products-services/technical-advisory-services/sentiment-emotion-lexicons

Mental Health America 2020: https://www.mhanational.org/mental-health-month

This article was written for Mental Health Week and originally appeared on CMHA National’s Mental Health Week website.

What if negative emotions aren’t so bad?

More than simply “fine”

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