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Home » News » Page 4

More than simply “fine”

April 29, 2021 By CMHA National Leave a Comment

It happens every time we say hello. In person, in text, on the phone. Someone asks us how we’re doing. It’s politeness. It’s a social convention. And it’s a way to find out how we’re all doing and connect with each other.

But, more often than not, do you find yourself answering, automatically, with “fine, thanks?” You are not alone. Most of us do. But maybe, just maybe, if we said more than just “I’m fine,” we would know ourselves better, would connect a little more, and have more meaningful connections.

In fact, when we slow down and figure out what we’re really feeling, it can actually help us feel better and can improve the way we communicate with and relate to others. Knowing and saying what we really feel can improve our relationships.

The English language has literally thousands of words for emotions. Here are just some of them. Try them on for size. When we name precisely how we feel, it’s good for our mental health.

“Comfortable” feelings  

Excited Enthusiastic Delighted Amazed Passionate Aroused Alert Astonished Dazzled Energetic Awakened Eager Charged Exhilarated

Friendly Appreciative Delighted Pleased Amazed Affectionate Caring Loving Sympathetic Warm Doting Tender Attached Compassionate

Confident Bold Courageous Positive Fearless Optimistic Encouraged Powerful Proud Trusting Secure Brave Empowered

Ecstatic Thrilled Blissful Elated Enthralled Exuberant Radiant Rapturous Thrilled

Thankful Grateful Moved Touched Appreciative Recognized Indebtedness Included Understood Appreciated Accepted Acknowledged Recognized Welcomed Connected Supported Heard Respected Involved

Intrigued Absorbed Fascinated Interested Charmed Entertained Captivated Engaged Engrossed Curious Surprised

Joyful Cheerful Festive Lighthearted Upbeat Glad Merry Elated Delighted Jubilant Hopeful Tickled Pleased

Peaceful Calm Quiet Trusting Fulfilled Steady Collected Composed Comfortable Centered Content Relieved Mellow Level Restful Still At ease Satisfied Relaxed Clear Reassured Rested

Refreshed Stimulated Replenished Exhilarated Reinvigorated Revived Enlivened Restored Liberated Lively Passionate Vibrant

“Uncomfortable” feelings

Afraid Nervous Dread Frightened Cowardly Terrified Alarmed Panicked Suspicious Worried Apprehensive Agitated Bothered Uncomfortable Uneasy

Frenzied Irritable Disturbed Troubled Unsettled Unnerved Restless Upset

Angry Furious Livid Irate Resentful Hateful Hostile Aggressive Worked up Provoked Outraged Defensive

Anxious Shaky Distraught Edgy Fidgety Frazzled Irritable Jittery Overwhelmed Restless Preoccupied Flustered

Confused Lost Disoriented Puzzled Chaotic Uncertain Stuck Indecisive Foggy Dazed Baffled Flustered Perturbed Perplexed Hesitant Immobilized Ambivalent Torn Disconnected

Lonely Isolated Bored Distant Removed Detached Separate Broken Aloof Numb Withdrawn Rejected Out-of-place Indifferent Misunderstood Abandoned Alienated

Disgusted Appalled Horrified Disturbed Repugnant Contempt Spiteful Animosity Hostile Bitter

Embarrassed Awkward Self-conscious Silly Mortified Humiliated Flustered Chagrined

Ashamed Put down Guilty Disgraced Envy Jealous Competitive Covetous Resentful Longing Insecure Inadequate Yearning Helpless Paralyzed Weak Defenseless Powerless Invalid Abandoned Alone Incapable Useless Inferior Vulnerable Empty

Distressed In pain Remorseful Regretful Disappointed Guilty Grieving Miserable Anguish Bruised Crushed Sadness Heartbroken Disappointed

Hopeless Regretful Depressed Pessimistic Melancholy Sorrowful Heavy-hearted Low Gloomy Miserable Stress Overwhelmed Frazzled Uneasy Cranky Distraught Dissatisfied Weighed down Overworked Anxious Shocked Frustrated

Tired Bored Fatigued Exhausted Uninterested Worn out Fed up Drained Weary Burned out Lethargic Sleepy Depleted Vulnerable Insecure Exposed Unguarded Sensitive Unsafe Inferior Weak Judged Inadequate

Sources: https://nrc.canada.ca/en/research-development/products-services/technical-advisory-services/sentiment-emotion-lexicons

Mental Health America 2020: https://www.mhanational.org/mental-health-month

This article was written for Mental Health Week and originally appeared on CMHA National’s Mental Health Week website.

Filed Under: Mental Health Week 2021, News

Languid (By Loyal Wooldridge)

April 29, 2021 By Loyal Wooldridge Leave a Comment

Heart palpitating, stomach in knots, unable to stand with shortness of breath, I laid at the top of a mountain look out waiting for the nausea to pass.

Being sensitive to glycemic issues my whole life, I assumed I needed to eat and get my blood sugar regulated. That wasn’t it.

June 2020, having just re-opened my business after mandated closures – the effect of relentless pivoting and adaptation set in. I felt the weight of the world crushing me from all sides and soon I realized – I was having an anxiety attack.

Fear, grief and exhaustion from a pandemic world was beyond my control. I did all the blood work and tests – physiologically I was in great health – mentally not so much. Having worked with a psychologist for years, I again sat back on my Doctor’s couch to work through the collective grief many experienced.

2021, this year, is different.

I find myself blankly staring at my social media feeds scrolling endlessly, checking my e-mail repeatedly and chronically tempting myself with shopping apps – feeling ‘blah’. Sundays used to be a time to plan the week upcoming with goals and aspirations and now Monday brings another week of ‘Ground Hog’s Day’.

My light softly dulls and passion dwindles and a state of stagnation and emptiness can roll in (Languishing is the perfect descriptor.) Emotions of anxiety (‘fight or flight’) easily ignite the flame to react out of anger, fear or frustration. Part of my learning is to not make decisions or communicate from this place. It’s about giving myself the grace to truly see my emotions for what they are and recognize it in others.

Create grace for quiet

Uncomfortable emotions are like an onion skin, when I peel back a layer there is always another emotion underneath. For ‘Type A’ personalities, it’s scary to release control for fear of emotions taking over. Add distractions like electronics or packed schedules and it is crippling. I allow myself grace for quiet to sit with these emotions and see what they are and if they are even mine to carry. We all can often pick up emotions from others especially in public roles or through the media.

Name it, feel it & connect

When we name something, it becomes real. Emotions are always present and we need to connect with them, or they can rule our lives. I’ve found it helpful to name my emotional state to best understand what I need to work through them. We are meant to feel all of this. For me, it’s an indicator to rest, experience nature and unplug.

Celebrate all wins

Life can be daunting. The pandemic has brought immense loss and change. Some days life is literally about putting one foot in front of the other to do the next right thing. I generate hope by returning to the now. Whether I cook an awesome new recipe or organize the junk drawer – celebrating the win cultivates hope. Hope, is the fuel we need to help us move through the uncomfortable moments which in time loosens the grip of anxiety.

Our collective work now is to heal. It’s certainly not a comfortable process and it’s messy at times. Just like laying on a bench at the top of the mountain, we need to hold hope and courageously walk by faith not necessarily sight.

There will be brighter days ahead.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Loyal Wooldridge is a Kelowna City Councillor, entrepreneur, and a community advocate elected to Kelowna City Council in 2018; grounded in the power of community, giving back and creating equity for underrepresented voices. He is passionate and driven to realize positive steps forward in social challenges like homelessness, mental health and housing while encouraging positive economic recovery for the region, post pandemic.

Filed Under: Mental Health Week 2021, News

Grief (By Mare McHale)

April 29, 2021 By Mare McHale Leave a Comment

Hi, my name is Mare, and in the #NameItDontNumbIt campaign, the first thing that came to my mind is grief.

Grief isn’t something that we talk about a lot in our culture, but it is rampant. We’ll all experience it, whether it’s grief from the loss of a loved one, grief from the loss of a job, from things not turning out as you expected, grief because of the pandemic, a collective grief that we’ve all been feeling.

It’s something that we don’t talk about enough. And there also seems to be this inaccurate stigma around grief that it has a finite amount of time. And I can tell from my own experience that’s not the case. I lost my dad when I was 19, almost 20 years ago, and I still grieve him. I still miss him. And I don’t ever want to not grieve his loss because, in my opinion, that would mean that the love was gone.

We also have this weird thing where it’s like, “Oh, that person passed away so many years ago. Aren’t you over it yet?” No, I lost my husband four years ago and after about two years of being a widow, I said to my therapist, “It’s still hard, I’m still suffering.” And she said, “I think you need to reword it… You need to think of it like it’s ONLY been two years, not it’s already been two years, why am I still so upset about this?”

Now, it’s only been four and it’s still hard. So I would love you to name it, don’t numb it. The grief is not going to go away. The sadness, the pain. It’s not going to go away. We need to name it. We need to honor it. We need to allow ourselves to feel it and work through it.

I think it’s OK to still be sad and it’s OK to be happy at the same time. Two things can be true. That’s another thing that’s really difficult with grief is, well, if I’m sad and grieving the loss or grieving this pandemic, how dare I feel happiness? But those two things can be true at the same time.

Stop beating yourself up that you’re sad. We’re all sad. We’ll all experience this. But if you numb it, that makes it worse. You suppress it and it’s going to manifest physically. It’s going to manifest in your relationships.

Deal with it, be kind to yourself and don’t forget to name it, don’t numb it.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Mare is a best-selling author, podcast host, inspirational speaker & entrepreneur. She is sharing her journey as a widow and mother of a child with specials needs with the hopes of making others feel less alone.

Listen to C MHA Kelowna’s recent podcast by Discovery College called What Really Works? Where hosts Beki and Olivia discuss the different kinds of grief and what we can do to support ourselves and another person who is experiencing it.

Click here to listen to the podcast.

Filed Under: Mental Health Week 2021, News

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